In defense of mediocrity

Talk to almost any parent and they will say that they spend the time taking their kids to sports for lots of reasons...exercise, teamwork, sportsmanship, discipline. It is a rare parent who will admit that they just love the thrill of seeing their child win. I would certainly agree, we all know that it is not whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game. Right? And yet as I have watched my #3 son rack up almost two straight seasons of wrestling losses, I find that deep down inside I struggle to believe all the trite sayings
. Is there any point in going on with a sport in the face of such obvious difficulty?

He did not seem to mind too much, but nor did he expect to win anymore. He seemed to just go through the motions, assuming he would lose. I would no longer ask him if he won or lost a match, but I would ask questions like "Did you make it to the second period?" or "Did you score any points?". In praying about it Jeff and I came to the conclusion that what we really wanted to see him learn is perseverance in the face of adversity. The courage to keep trying. Finally in one of his matches he managed to score 6 points. Now granted they were all escape points, which means that the other wrestler let him up, only to take him down again. In fact, he lost this match in what is called a technical fall - the other wrestler was so far ahead they didn't even finish the match. And yet I took a picture of the score board, because for Bute3 this was a big deal. He hadn't given up and let the other guy pin him. He had kept fighting. It was funny as I took the picture of the score board the lady keeping score said "Your son wrestled a good match!". I am sure she thought that my son was the one ahead by 10 points, not the one who'd lost. I just wanted to say "You have no idea how good this was for him!"




All my anguish about whether or not to keep Bute3 in wrestling was finally vindicated in the very last match of the season. It was a beautiful, sunny warm spring day, and we had to spend it in a dark, sweaty gym. I confess I went with low expectations and probably would have skipped the tournament, except that there was a team competition and others were counting on us to at least avoid forfeit points. As Bute3 headed into his first match his coach said "You are better at sprawling than shooting, so let the other guy shoot and then sprawl." Bute3 did as he was told and scored 2 points right away. He looked at his coach with a shocked expression. The coach said, "Do it again!" And he did. And scored more points. By this point the coach and I made eye contact with an expression that meant "Could he really do it?"

By the third period Bute3's opponent and realized the problem and shifted his strategy, but by then Bute3 was far enough ahead to hang on for the win. After the appropriate handshakes, Bute3 ran into my arms and I could feel tears on my cheeks as I hugged him. That simple victory, by only a couple of points, in a recreational tournament was a bigger deal to us than a championship. It was a lesson for all of us in the value of perseverance and croup age. Bute4 brought home a couple of wins in this tournament as well and their team took first place. It was wonderful end to their season!




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